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WHAT REALTORS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THE JOSHUA TREE AREA
1. 100-DEGREE TEMP VARIATION: average summer temp 108 degrees gets as hot as 120. Freezing and below in winter. Destroys rubber on cars and pipes in houses.
2. EARTHQUAKES: 7.6 in 1992. 8 foot schism/chasm in 15 seconds.
3. WINDS AND TORNADOS: 75-100 windy days yearly. Tornado damage more and more frequent. Linda at JT Health Foods lost the roof to her house. Photo of tornado in JT: Hi Desert Star Wed, 7-11-01.
4. FLASH FLOODS AND UNPREDICTABLE WEATHER PATTERNS: killer floods, jawbreaker size hail, fire starting lightening, carport collapsing snow.
5. MOST POISONOUS SNAKES AND SPIDERS IN THE WORLD: Mojave Green, Black Widow, Brown Recluse, and scorpions too Many kinds of ants and termites.
6. CACTUS POLLEN IS SPINIER AND INTENSE. GET READY TO HAVE ALLERGYS.
7. MARINE BASE BOMBING: subsonic noise rattles windows and nerves. No Warning.No Schedule.No STOPPING!(bombing on windy days will drive you crazy).
8. CONSTANT HELICOPTER TRAFFIC: intense noise noise noise noise!!!!
9. RED NECK TRAILER TRASH METH LAB WELFARE RECIPIENTS: Once ruled the desert. Desert gentrification doesn't mean they're gone.
10. OFF ROAD WEEKENDERS: more noise dust, and flagrant desert disrespect.
11. LONG TIME RESIDENTS ARE CLICKY AND SUSPICIOUS OF FLAT-LANDERS.
12. LARGE WAR BOUND/REBOUND MARINE POPULATION
13. HIGH WATER BILLS AND STAND-BY FEES
14. LIMITED SHOPPING SELECTION. NO TRADER JOES!
15. SOUND TRAVELS DOGS BARK AND BARK AND BARK: just try sleeping outside on a hot summer night.
16. DEVELOPMENT = NON INDIGENOUS VEGETATION=BLYTH AND DISEASE OF FRAGILE INDIGENOUS FLORA :see all the dead Joshua Trees?
17. RISING DUST LEVELS: More people driving on dirt roads = more dust = lower air quality (notice the basin's dust plumms at sunset).
18. LOUSY CELL PHONE COVERAGE!
19. UNHOSPITABLE PLANTS: Cholla and other small fibrous cactus, also goat-heads and many other sharp poky things. Desert enchoyment guaranteed for all.
20. RISING GAS PRICES: average round trip cost from LA in your SUV around $55 and expected to rise.
21. MICE AND RODENTS BUILD NESTS IN YOUR CAR'S ENGINE AREA AS SOON AS YOUR ENGINE COOLS.
22. CATS MUST BE KEPT INDOORS OR IN COYOTE AND SONG BIRD PROOF AREAS
23. NO JOBS! Minimum wage maybe (?)
24. NO ARMED RESPONSE HOME SECURITY SERVICES: break-ins are common, ESPECIALLY WEEKEND PLACES!.
25. PENCIL ERASERS TURN HARD, WEIRD AND DISINTEGRATE SO DOES TAPE, ANY TAPE
26. MILITARY CONVOYS: CONSTANT WAR REMINDER!!!
27. FREAK FROSTS IN EARLY SPRING WIPE OUT MANY KINDS OF FRUIT BLOOMS. (check temp. on April 4,06)
28. ALL RUBBER AND PLASTICS ON YOUR CAR OR IN YOUR YARD BREAK DOWN FAST AND DISINTEGRATE
29. SMALL TOWN GOSSIP GURANTEED TO GETCHA
30. FIRES CAUSED BY LIGHTENING ARE MORE FREQUENT. 3 IN ONE DAY (JULY 06)
31. CODE ENFORCEMENT IS OUT IN FULL FORCE. NO SINGLE WIDE MOBILE HOMES ALLOWED!!!
32. COLD STORMS IN JAN 2007 DOWN TO 9 DEGREES PIPES BROKE - HARDWARE STORES RAN OUT OF PARTS BY 10 AM. SNOW STUCK FOR 5 DAYS!
Please copy and put under a rock next to all For Sale signs on your block.